Are You Guilty of Making one of These 8 Common mistakes in your Relationship? No…
12 Reasons why you need to stop taking him back!
Posted on May 20, 2015 by Trinity Rose
It’s happened before…and it’s likely to happen again. Let’s face it, humans are creatures of habit. It’s not easy for someone to change their basic nature and if you’re with someone who is trying, that person is going to need space. To love someone, we need to love ourselves first. That doesn’t mean that people CAN’T change, everyone can change, but it takes determination, perseverance and patience, patience, patience. So that brings us to number one of our 12 reasons you need to stop taking him back.
- Because you love him
Uhm… how does that make any sense? Love is governed by care. If you care for a person, you have their best interests at heart, even when it puts you in a place of hurt, or at a lower advantage. Taking him back is just going to stunt growth; yours and his, his and yours. It’s going to put you both in a position of perpetually going around in circles, emotionally that is.
It’s not that you don’t want to be with him. It’s that you very much want to be with him, but you two as a combination are possibly not working well.
- Because you love yourself
There’s not a single person who will tell you to repeatedly cut yourself, or jump into a fire on a serial scale. So why would you repeatedly walk into a relationship that does the same to you emotionally?
There is nothing selfish about loving yourself first when you need to. If you are broken, it becomes very hard to give love, the very thing needed of a relationship. Giving yourself time to heal is of the utmost importance.
- Because you love your children
This is a very important point if you have kids. Even if your relationship is not necessarily a violent one, your kids will know that it is an unhappy one. You owe it to your children to raise them as confident and steadfast young adults. Those qualities are nurtured through stability and understanding, neither of which are characteristics of a rocky relationship.
Stability is a gift of love and in the case of a troubled relationship, a gift of sacrifice. It would be ideal if both you and your partner make the sacrifice to give the children absolute stability but this, unfortunately, does not always happen. So often, the sacrifice has to come from one side.
If your relationship IS a violent one, you need to protect your children. One day they will ask you why you didn’t do more, why you didn’t stand up. You are their advocate. You must make the change.
- You’ve outgrown him
People do outgrow each other. As people make their way through the phases of life and have experiences that add to the value of their wisdom, they grow. Sometimes one partner grows so much and the other does so little to not growing, leaving a huge maturity canyon in between the two. If your partner shows signs of growth, then it may just be that he is growing slowly. However, if he’s not showing signs and seems pretty content just being who (or what) he is, then it’s time to move on.
- It really won’t be different
There are success stories of the people who have split up and rekindled their love. These are wonderful stories, but the foundation for this sort of reunion is growth, maturity, and a definite common goal. If you and your partner are not growing together, it is likely things will not change the second, third or fourth time around. There really just shouldn’t be a fifth. As they say in business, quit while you’re ahead, or is that gambling?
- There is no common goal
After the first few hundred get-back-togethers, you get to know a person and where they’re headed. It’s not uncommon for relationships to break because the end goal of each partner is very different. That’s not to say he should want exactly what you want out of life. It is to say, though, that he should want what you want out of the relationship.
Of course, men and women have a unique understanding of what the core of a relationship is. Guys want more sex, women want more affection. Men want to be respected, women need to be loved. Those are the obvious things, and it’s quite normal for them to differ. But is your goal FOR the relationship the same?
- He’s dragging you down
Emotional abuse is never right. Never. ‘Nuff said.
- You’re dragging him down
Understanding and identifying when you’re really not good for someone is a difficult task to be faced with. But if he’s not soaring, then it’s not good for either of you.
- You have a hunch
This is not always easy to recognize. But somewhere you begin to hear a little voice in the back of your head saying something is just not right. Listen to that voice. If you’ve given the situation ample opportunity to sort itself out and plenty of re-tries, and you still have that feeling, it’s for a good reason.
- Your morals and values no longer match
Morals and values are what emotionally connect us to certain types of people. It’s easy to take a short hiatus from a wayward friend or show your friend support from a distance until he or she returns to their core belief and value system. However, sharing a life with someone who has far-removed themselves from their own value system or does not abide by the same moral code as you do, could be a dilemma for you and even your partner. Remember, your whole life is built on that core.
- You’ve got no voice left
If you do a lot of screaming, this would be the obvious outcome. But what I’m talking about is the voice within. We’ve all got one. Man, woman, child. We have a unique voice. Love listens to that voice. When you feel like you no longer have a voice, you start to lose your connection to the person you’re with, but more importantly, to your own wisdom. And that is a tragedy.
Love makes room for everyone, and you should not have to face oppression from the one you love.
- You’re getting older by the second
Youth is not just about the skin you’re in. It’s about the way you feel. Stress ages a person much faster and anxiety weakens the mind. You don’t need to be a frail woman before your time.
Knowing when to throw in the towel is not about giving up the first time you have a fight. It’s about knowing what is worth holding onto and what is not. Before making any decisions, always ask yourself these questions:
- Am I ready to be without this person?
- Have I really taken responsibility for potential mistakes I am making in the relationship?
- What am I doing to make this person happy?
- Am I relying on this person to make me happy? If so, are my expectations unrealistic?
- How can I make this person happy?
Answering these questions for yourself will give you a good understanding of yourself. Don’t rush into making these decisions, but know that you are capable and fully entitled to walk away from something that is harming you or your children in either a physical, emotional or spiritual way. Don’t be coerced into being someone’s puppet. Walking away requires just as much strength as staying put.
Consulting with a love psychic at zenory can help you get to the bottom line. If your ready to hear and bring yourself to the truth of what lies ahead in this kind of situation, talk to our gifted love psychics today for a psychic reading and gain personal insights into what your loved one might be feeling
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